Chasing Autism Part 1

Chasing Autism will be a sub series of this blog where I discuss my son’s (and my) journey with autism.

     In the beginning, I ignored the signs. Rather, I ignored the standards by which my son Kal’el was being measured. Why? I ignored the standards because they have failed to resemble or represent me. According to height/weight charts I have always been over the top. According to my gynecologist, I have a tilted uterus. According to beauty standards of my youth, I stood outside of the model, which led to a horrendously painful and unnecessary experience with an orthodontist. So, no it was not surprising or particularly disturbing when the pediatrician said his head was too big. My uncles used to palm my head with one hand and lift me from the ground like a basketball.  My son did not respond to his name being called. If I am immersed in a task (reading a good book) I do not hear my name being called either. Essentially, anything that was normal for me and witnessed in my son was chalked up to heritage. So it follows that his speech delays could not be dismissed. You see, my family and I, we talk. We argue, we joke, we complain, we tell stories. I used to talk myself and my siblings to sleep.

     Let me explain, my son has always been verbal. He parrots what he hears. His tendency to repeat word for word was what finally made me think, ‘Wait a second, I need to look into this Autism thing’. I cannot imagine an existence where I am not able to speak for myself. All other quirkiness and social awkwardness aside, this is the tragedy of Autism (for Kal’el  [because, I realize ASD and its challenges manifest differently for each child]). Communication skills are necessary for freedom, autonomy, inter-dependence, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being. Effective communication is the gift I must give my son.

   As of now, he takes entire dialogues from one scenario and places them, seemingly according to tone, in similar conversations (Which is an improvement over chanting unrelated sequences). He does not yet arrange words to express his unique thoughts. He does not verbally express emotions such as, ‘I am angry’. We are working on that. The cartoon character Cailou plucks my last nerve with his whining but he is teaching my son emotional emphasis. This cartoon demonstrates a way for Kal'el to show disapproval without crying and melting down. So El is now applying varying volumes and force behind individual words to express certainty and urgency. For example:  I don’t WANT to go to school. 

    Another symptom used to diagnose his Autism Spectrum Disorder was the fact that my son did not feel the need to get my attention or approval when he found something new. Other children say, ‘Mommy, Look!’ incessantly. Not my boy.  Neuro-typical children will at-least check their parent’s eyes for cues that say ‘This is good or ,this is dangerous or ,this is interesting.’ Again, not my little one. Not only did he not seek to engage me, but he might gesture for me to leave the room so as not to disturb him.  This, however, is changing. He may just be repeating something he heard somewhere, but now he will say, ‘Mommy look, I’m dancing.’